“You’re blessed when you feel you’ve lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.” Matthew 5:4
What does it mean to mourn? That gut wrenching feeling that provokes all types of tears and wails overcoming you until you feel like you have nothing left of yourself. It wasn’t something I wanted or was ready for. I had a strong longing for what used to be and how things were when we were happy together. Where did I go wrong, what did I do, am I not worth staying with, was I not enough to make him try anymore. The deepest suffering I have ever felt since the first time I thought I was in love.
God has been revealing to me the blessing in all of this. Without this pain, would I be running after God this hard? Would I be filling up my mind with the comfort that He provides, with the words He teaches? Without this sorrow, I wouldn’t be able to fully understand and experience the one source of true comfort.
We try so hard to run away from pain. We try to cover it with drinking, watching movies, studying, shopping, but there’s nothing you could really do to remove that pain on your own.
“God will never waste your pain”
There is no greater comfort than the one He provides. He’s going to use this for His glory. He’s using this for me to experience a new life; one that doesn’t require me leaning on anyone but Him. Making me grow wiser on how great He is. He’s filling that empty space I’ve been feeling and He’s filling the spaces I never even knew I had. Following Him causes me to realize this need for Him and helps me go into total submission and dependence.
Written by Hannah Solon
My professor was giving one of his nightly encouraging speeches and something he said really made me think:
“You are valuable people. You help people”
Nurses are there to give comfort, help heal the sick, watch over individuals who sometimes aren’t able to take care of themselves. They get right down to the dirty work by cleaning up their patient’s excretions. Daily, they may deal with an individual’s anger, resentment and negative emotions. Even though nurses usually choose this path because they want to help others, sometimes they become burnt out or discouraged because of a couple of bad days.
Then I realized that the daily life of a nurse is a microscopic glimpse of the grace God gives us every single day of our lives. God does this for us everyday and He doesn’t get tired of it. He pursues us with open arms no matter how many times we may curse Him or refuse His care. This chronic disease called sin that invades each of our bodies will slowly consume us, if we don’t allow God to work in us. No matter how torn up we are, no matter how many times we may think we’re close to the death of our relationship with Him, He is more than able to heal us. Sin will always be there, there is no possible way for us to get rid of it. There is no possible way for us to be “good enough” to deserve the Kingdom of Heaven, but Jesus paid for all of that.
“He took our illnesses, He carried our diseases” (Matthew 8:17)
He carried them. He Himself, the Prince of Peace, the Lord of Lords is carrying my diseases, my illnesses, my sin. He calls the sick; He calls those who realize their need for Him. He is giving me a new life that will allow me to also show a glimpse of His grace to others. That’s what He calls us to do. We realize that we are sick and in need of his help, He heals us and we go out and use our new health to give a taste of Jesus’s love and grace so that others may notice something different in us and be intrigued by the one causes us to live differently.
Written by Hannah Solon